I think I have wasted too much of my life watching Scrubs, Wonder Years, and Doug, because I spend too much time in my head.
I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about relationships. Most specifically mine with other people. They're pretty complicated and there are too many for me to deal with: my family, my roommates, my friends from home, my friends from school, and the worst of all, with girls.
Girls get me all screwed up. To start with, I develop little crushes really easily, and so I'm constantly dealing with this because as soon as I stop thinking about this girl or these girls, there are instantly more to take their place. But I don't suppose that this is really all that unique. Every straight guy who is single is always thinking about girls and how to ask them to hang out or go out or make out. The only problem for me is that sometimes I find so many girls I want to ask out that I can't narrow down. And then there's the one I will never get over to consider. But that's all fine.
The problem is I have this innate ability to create such chaos within myself that I am immobilized. I can easily convince myself that the timing is bad, that if I wait that I actually will ask her out though I know I won't, or that I'm not good enough. If you know me very well, you know I have a problem with confidence and that I continuously second-guess and doubt myself.
This vortex within my head, this rollercoaster of determination, confidence, and decisiveness, is where I spend most of my time. Especially as of recent.
And now I get to this point and I don't know why I am writing any of this. I hate ranting about nothing that nobody cares about, or sounding self-pitying. But I'm here and I'm not going back. I'm not writing this for other people, I'm writing it for me, and I'm doing out loud so people know me better, to make myself more vulnerable. (except that the only reason I am blogging is because of people telling me to)
So I guess I'm writing all of this to say to myself: get over it. And if you have any thoughts, insights, or advice as to how to do this please tell me. But don't just say something moronic and obvious like "don't be scared and ask someone out". If I didn't have that figured out already I wouldn't be writing this.
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6 comments:
Girls are lame. Cute but not very funny. Stick to friends and roommates. Or don't think about it, and it'll come back around. A watched pot never boils, or something like that.
But anywho, my advice doesn't mean much in this area.
Girls aren't all lame Ryan.Dont give up on us yet. So, here's the thing.Your problem lies within the very heart of this entire blog. You think too much. Now I am probably the last person that should be giving you advice because I am always thinking too much, but here's the thing. In thinking too much, we can't just let things be. Its completely normal to think about girls and wonder if this girl is right for you or this other girl is the one you should date, but here's the thing. That's not what it (meaning life) is all about. I think that life is about making sense of who you are in the bigger picture of things. Now I am not saying forget girls completely, I am just saying to let it be until you find a girl who helps you make sense of who you are, not just somone who seems fun or interesting. And you want to know why Ryan? because that is what you deserve.
Deven
"girls are lame. cute but not very funny"?
big statement there Chris
ry...this is such an interesting post. i mean, many guys deal with the complex of looking for wonder woman, when they in fact are not superman...so they end up searching for fiction. but in your case...it doesn't sound like that at all! in fact, it sounds almost paradoxical. girls are lame...and guys are dumb. its just how we are. yes...guys think about girls 99.9% of the time...and when you over-think things you limit yourself. it's kinda like when you go to a buffet. you see all of these possibilities and there is a multitude of food choices. however, if you just consume everything that looks/sounds good...you may never make it to the actual dish you wanted. in fact, if you do make it to the "dessert", or whatever, you're probably going to be so full, that you can't even enjoy the finality of the meal. all this to say...it's okay to think/analyze...however, in my opinion, being indecisive can (but not always) make you overlook or mis-out on what you really need/want. if you're not certain...don't stress about her. do what big bird always said...look inside your heart, and their the answer will be.
word verification?
don't be scared and ask someone out
:] couldn't resist
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